Most of us dislike our significant other’s exes. Whether we feel threatened, have heard bad stories, or are simply jealous, we rarely have a genuine reason for our dislike. We just do. This has always made me laugh because, if you really stop to think about it, he or she would actually be a perfect best friend.
I know, I know, I can practically hear you all screaming at me from behind your screens.
“Best friend?! This is the worst person on the face of the Earth! We would never be friends!”
Bear with me here.
We all have some sort of type. It may not always be physical, but there are undeniably certain characteristics about a person which make someone admire them. If your current significant other (S.O.) is attracted to your passion, humor and sense of adventure, there’s a pretty good chance you share one or all of those qualities with your S.O.’s ex! If you and this person both have a similar sense of humor, share a desire for adventure, and have passionate spirits, wouldn’t this person make a great travel companion, dinner buddy, or movie pal?
You likely would choose similar travel destinations and plans for while you’re there, enjoy similar restaurants and would want to see the same movie!
You would never even imagine bonding with this person, though, or even getting to know them, because society has taught us that we must feel competitive and that it is in some way even strange to befriend an S.O.’s ex.
I am not delusional. I know this is a flawed plan in some instances because many relationships end badly and your S.O. and his or her ex may not be on great terms. I know we do not live in a fairytale world where we can all get along, and that in practice the whole BFF thing might blow up into a crazy, scheming, cheating, mistrusting, jealous debacle.
So, what’s the takeaway here?
I’m not actually telling you to befriend your bae’s ex (unless he/she sucks and you two break up and you start a club to laugh about what a mistake it was to date this person, or maybe a support group for the brokenhearted…just throwing out some ideas here) but before declaring this person (or people) your arch nemesis, give it a moment of thought. Why did you decide you don’t like this person and is it a valid reason? How similar are you to this person? If they did something you don’t approve of, what do you think you would have done had you been in their situation?
Basically, don’t be too quick to judge and at least try to find the good in everyone.
If that doesn’t work, grab a bottle of champagne and your real BFF and spend your time plotting ways to destroy this monster’s life.
Now get out there and be awesome.